


Never yet philosopher

by jessikast



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Gen, Team Feels, discussion of dentist stuff, immortal biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessikast/pseuds/jessikast
Summary: "Is the way you look on the day you die for the first time, like, a template? Apart from aging, can we change? If you already have a scar or an injury, does that heal?""Oh, good question," said Nicky, sounding lazy and relaxed with his feet in Joe's lap. "The answer is yes - if that part of you is injured, when it heals it will be, ah, reset.""For instance," said Joe, "I used to be circumci-"
Comments: 19
Kudos: 527





	Never yet philosopher

**Author's Note:**

> For there was never yet philosopher  
> That could endure the toothache patiently. —William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
> 
> A spiritual successor to my fic "The Talk", in which I continue to work my way through my questions about how exactly immortal biology works.
> 
> In this, I tackle how people who were first alive well, WELL before modern dentistry (and certainly after people started eating things like heavy grains that wore down teeth, or sugary food that encouraged cavaties) have very nice, "I'm an actor in the 21st century" smiles.

"Okay, so-" started Nile, and Andy, Joe and Nicky all politely turned from their quiet occupations (sharpening an axe; reading poety and receiving a footrub; and giving a footrub, respectively) to pay attention. They'd all forgotten how much _energy_ the very young had, the energetic curiosity. After a few hundred years one got into the habit of eking out new experiences, stretching them out and savouring them - this appetite for wanting to know everything and wanting it _now_ was a bit of a novelty. Nile had set herself to the task of understanding the logic of her new existance, its limits and boundaries. The military had taught her to interrogate and record information systematically. She was taking notes using her phone. It was _very_ different.

"I understand the healing and rejuvenation - I think, there's a few questions about things like piercings I want to circle back to - but how _static_ are our appearances?"

"What do you mean?" asked Andy.

"Is the way you look on the day you die for the first time, like, a template? Apart from aging, can we change? If you already have a scar or an injury, does that heal?"

"Oh, good question," said Nicky, sounding lazy and relaxed with his feet in Joe's lap. "The answer is yes - if that part of you is injured, when it heals it will be, ah, reset."

"For instance," said Joe, "I used to be circumci-"

"Thank you!" said Nile loudly. "I get the picture, and do not want to know _any_ more details."

"It was a very sad time," said Nicky medatively. "Just when I had the hang of it...pfft!"

Joe smiled fondly at him. "Oh, you were a very fast learner."

Andy shook her head in mock exasperation, and leaned forward to talk to Nile. "Of course, the _best_ part about that-" Then weirdly, she made a weird grimace, baring her teeth. Nile blinked in confusion. "Back me up, guys." Nile looked over to see Nicky and Joe doing the same grimace. Joe tapped his front teeth. 

"Oh. Oh! Dentist stuff!"

" _'Dentist stuff'_ she says," said Joe. "Andy, when you first died, how many of your teeth did you still have?"

"Most of them. But I think they all had holes." Nile looked at her aghast. "I always had a sweet tooth," Andy shrugged.

"I'd had three molars removed," said Nicky. "Half my motivation in joining the Crusade was avoiding the butcher who wanted the fourth."

"Ahh, you just heard that we had superior surgery," said Joe. "It's what they call medical tourism now, right?"

"You can't talk, love. You were down two _front_ teeth."

"It made me look very fierce!"

"You looked like a cut-throat bandit."

"Not after the, hmm, fourth? fifth? time you killed me." Joe looked surprisingly nostalgic for someone remembering his own violent death. "Boulder in the face," he explained to Nile. "Smashed my whole jaw. Woke up, and it took me two more deaths before my mouth stopped feeling weird." He leaned over to kiss Nicky. "Thank you, habibi."

"Aww, you're welcome," Nicky smiled into the kiss. "And thank _you_ for the time you smashed my mouth with the hilt of your scimitar."

"And who said romance is dead?" said Nile.

Andy grinned at her with all her teeth. Nile could swear they _glinted_ at her.


End file.
